Showing posts with label gujju jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gujju jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Why did the Gujju go to Rome?

Why did the Gujju go to Rome?

To listen to Pop(e) music.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Gujarati has accident

There was once a Gujarati living in USA called Raju Patel, who was involved in a car accident.
At the hospital, when he awoke, he called for the nurse to tell him what had happened to him.
"I'm very sorry, sir, but you were involved in a very bad car crash."
"Car crash! My Porsche! Is my car all right?" he asked hysterically.
"Sir, your car was destroyed, but that is the least of your worries - you lost your left arm in the crash, and we were unable to save it," she said apologetically.


"I lost my arm? My Rolex! My Rolex!"


"Sir, please calm down. That is the least of your worries.
You are in a very critical condition, but all your family are here to see you."

He asked for his family to be called in.
As they gathered around the bed, he called for each of them by name. "Shilpa, are you here?"
"I am here husband, and I will never leave you."
"Dilip, are you here?"
"I am here father, and I will never leave you."
"Anil, are you here?"
"I am here father, and I will never leave you."
"Priya, my child, are you here?"
"I am here father, and I will never leave you."

"Well," said Raju thoughtfully, "if Shilpa, Dilip, Anil and Priya are here..... WHO THE HELL IS IN THE SHOP?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

GUJARATI JOKES


Gandhi Movie..

Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.

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The Arab And Gujarati..

An (Bahraini) Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for aheart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.


As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood.


The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, theArab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Hummer, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars.


Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.


After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that theArab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati’s kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.

The Arab replied “Bapu…..now I have Gujju blood in my veins!”

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Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.2000 people leave the room.Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.2000 people leave the room.Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.500 people leave the room.Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?'Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho'The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama'.

Bill Gates was amazed to see both potential candidates talking fluently, friendly. He decided to hire both of them.

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